Friday, August 31, 2012
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Monday, August 27, 2012
How to make peace at home!
You might have a wonderful wedding and you are now living with your spouse, friends and you might have kid(s) but It's obvious that your will one day have conflict with your spouse, friends or children.
When this eventually happens, how will you go about making peace at home in other to avoid further conflicts?
In this article, I will let you know how to deal will this trivial issue and you will eventually know how to make peace at home and safe your marriage from breakups.
First of all, remember that most things are not really worth arguing about. Often some time staying apart can do wonders for a relationship. Laugh at yourself. Develop a more humble outlook. Remember that Carl Jung said a highly intense emotional response often (if not usually) says much more about you than the person you are reacting to.
Develop the habit to tolerate certain things among your friends, children and don't be so hard on your loved one about those certain things.
Remember not to argue about small insignificant things like while is the sitting room so unkempt, why are you late, why haven't you done your homework. Just talk about it. If you feel a fight coming on, stop.
Be a good roommate with your loved one. Replace the toilet paper roll if you use up the last one.
Cool off during a fight. Unlike Phyllis Diller's idea of staying up all night and fighting, going to bed mad can do wonders. Later, return to the subject you were fighting about. You may find that it's more insignificant than you thought.
Be happy for and proud of your loved one if they are successful at something, no matter how big or small. Never forget why you fell in love. Rejuvenate your memory and your relationship whenever necessary. Try not to mistake pity for love. Love is returned, pity is not.
Return a good deed with praise and another good deed. Positive reinforcement works wonders with both dogs and people. If you can't take a long vacation, take a short vacation. Take a day trip or an afternoon off, if that's all you can get. Agree in advance not to fight on vacation.
People who were not meant to be together probably feel and know they weren't meant to be. Remember, you may not be soul mates but maybe you are kindred spirits, which are just as important.
This does not mean that you have to separate, but it does mean readjusting your expectations for the other person and for what a relationship or marriage means.
Everyone knows it's very hard to want to forgive your family or friend but in the end it's worth it. Many people go through that stuff. You just feel like you want to move out, or that the person just thinks he or she is perfect! Try these tips and you might just fix the problem.
Before marriage, search carefully for compatibility. After marriage, be prepared to embrace incompatibility. Go into looking for and courting a partner with both eyes wide open. After the wedding day, consider make one eye shut for the rest of your life. Encourage those you date to do the same.
Work to become an "ideal" friend, role model, motivator, collaborator, etc. Working to become the ideal partner is realistic. Looking for the ideal partner is not realistic. "Ideal" partners are attracted to other "ideal" partners, or maybe can even be drawn out of someone you have come to decide isn't as "great" as you first thought (though don't bet on it--it really doesn't matter).
(This is actually just infatuation wearing off--it can actually take up to around two years! Great marriages are not built solely on infatuation. It has to be built on more.)
Develop a network of friends that will support you, your partner, your relationship, and your family.
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